


Till Death Do Us Part

by CrashStack



Series: Fics for Rainb0we! [17]
Category: Five Nights at Freddy's
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Past Abuse, Past Character Death, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Religious Imagery & Symbolism, Suicide, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-16
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-03-14 16:28:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28798374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrashStack/pseuds/CrashStack
Summary: Frazier succeeded in taking his life despite the hurdles of being bound to a robotic body. He thought it was over, that he could pass on and leave those he hurt behind, but it isn't. He has to face the creature that dictates who passes and to where, and it won't let him through.
Relationships: Cole Davis/Wade Harrison
Series: Fics for Rainb0we! [17]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1526105
Comments: 1
Kudos: 7





	Till Death Do Us Part

**Author's Note:**

  * For [rainb0we](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainb0we/gifts).



> This is both a gift for Bowe and a vent.
> 
> Lately I've been having a lot of trouble with myself, more than usual. Lots of bad thoughts and impulses. I decided to take it out through Frazier in an attempt to get it out, but also through Frazier's new acquaintance. What I know, what I've learned, and what I still feel. Of course, you're happy to enjoy what I've written; I'm actually quite proud of this, and that's usually hard for me to say.
> 
> Remember to check out Bowe's tumblr for his AU content and lore!
> 
> !!! Read the tags !!!

_Frazier no longer felt the pull of life._

_The chain was gone, the link keeping him to his prison had disappeared after some point. He wasn’t sure when it disappeared, but it was gone now. He couldn’t hear the rumble of the thrashing water in his ears or Foxy’s desperate pleading to get out of the tub, couldn’t feel the burning in his chest; the bathtub was gone with the chain, gone with Foxy._

_He succeeded._

_“...Oh?”_

_Why did he still feel so empty? Like he hadn’t accomplished anything? There was no euphoria for his deed, no relief for the burden of his existence. There was nothing at all, just a pit of emptiness where the burning need for air had been._

_“Hello.”_

_Why did he still_ feel?

_“You’re here early.”_

_The sky was black, there were no stars or moon to fill the void. He could hear the gentle lapping of waves against wood. Water clung to him; he felt suspended. A glow of red teased the outsides of his vision._

_“Need some help there?”_

_Was he in hell?_

_There was the sound of a heavy creak of wood, a deep grunt. “You’re a bit far out,” the voice rumbled. “Couldn’t you have appeared any closer?”_

_Frazier heard a gentle splash, then felt fingers hooking under his shirt. He was slowly pulled from the red water that tugged at him to come back, lifted into the air like a limp rag and pulled back. He was turned, and then he was looking into the face of a massive beast. He saw black sockets dotted with red beads, gnarled teeth from frowning lips, fine red scales that coated the monster’s body in gleaming armor._

_The black eyes stared at him intently. “Nothing?” it edged. It wiggled him slightly like a wet kitten. “No reaction? Not a peep?”_

_Why be scared? Could he die twice? Even if that was the case, he wasn’t scared. Was that how death worked, he had to die twice in order to get where he was supposed to go? Was the second death the judgement he had been raised to fear?_

_“Just deadweight, huh?” it asked. A rumbling chuckle; it ran through Frazier’s body like a hum. “No pun intended.”_

_At least there was confirmation that he was dead._

_“What, no chuckle at my joke? Not even an apology for barging in on my fishing time?”_

_So he had screwed up another person’s life, even in a miniscule way? He couldn’t escape his fuck-ups even in hell._

_The beast sighed, already exasperated with his silence. Frazier was gently set down on something; he heard wood creaking under him. He could see how massive the thing was, how miniscule he was compared to it. It could easily crush or eat him, consume his soul in full._

_“You’re going to be a handful, aren’t you?”_

_He was facing the water again; it really was red. He couldn’t see the bottom despite the clearness to the color. It didn’t feel like blood on his skin or clothes, wasn’t hot like blood. Was the water just red in hell?_

_“You’re not in hell, by the way.” A shift, then the reel next to Frazier’s ear was clicking and a line was casted into the water with a plop. “But you’re not too far from what you humans consider that. You’re in the middle, my domain; which you so rudely popped into.”_

_Purgatory? Wasn’t that like a waiting room? Was this creature the thing that judged him and sent him along? Was this the God he was taught about?_

_“Well, that’s debatable.” He felt it glance at him. “I am incredibly powerful, essentially the most perfect being in the universe, so you could say that I am what you consider a god.”_

_He wanted to retort, say something about how the thing millions of people on Earth feared was a beast of nightmares that could read minds, but he had no will to speak. He had no will to do anything at all, he just wanted this over with._

_“And yes, I’m bragging. You would be too if you were in my position, handling all the human souls that pass through. I’m very important along with my job.” A huff. “Today has thankfully been slow, but then you popped up. Literally, just floated to the surface of my pond. I don’t get many floaters, and you happened to be far out. I’m not too thrilled that my time was interrupted with those surprises.”_

_Death was annoying. This isn’t anything like he had been hoping for._

_“So, what’d you do to get here?” the thing asked. “You cut your clock by a lot, all that time wasted especially with how hard you fought in the first place.”_

_Frazier said nothing. How could he? It pained him just to think about what he did, made the ache in his chest heavier. Wasted time, yes, but wasted for a reason._

_“Ah,” it said after a pause. “What a way to go. Not a very quick one, however.” He felt its eyes on him. “You chose to suffer for whatever you believe you did wrong. It wasn’t just that there were limited ways to escape your way of living, wasn’t it?”_

_If he had gone with fire, he would’ve killed Foxy. That wasn’t what he wanted, he wanted to die without risking taking Foxy with him. He knew the dumb mutt was smart enough to jump out of the tub after he died, and that put Frazier at ease._

_Another pause. Then a grunt, shifting. “You’re one of my strange ones,” it told him. “Technically, this is the second time you’ve died. Your first death was incredibly odd, just like the people you’re grouped with. All strange ones.”_

_That was a nice way to put his horrific death._

_“And a pain in my neck.”_

_There it was._

_“Do you understand how much of an issue that was for me to decide to let you pass on?” it asked, annoyed. “Never have I had a death like that, the issue with souls being trapped that way. I mean, there were the people who died in those hollow bulls or those chambers filled with spikes, but that’s incredibly different from what you experienced. That was a hard choice for me to make, deciding whether or not to let you pass despite your time not truly being up.”_

_Was it really hard tossing people to the afterlife? It seemed like the easiest job in the world compared to the bullshit he had to put up with when he was alive._

_“Then that group of kids…” A tsk. “Souls being trapped for no good reason, making it harder to do my job. The path I’m seeing unfold with your story is just terrible.”_

_If it was so hard to decide, why wasn’t this guy just sending him on his way?_

_“Because_ you _,” it emphasized as it reeled in its line, “aren’t done yet, Cole Frazier Davis.”_

_His name on the tongue and between the teeth of the beast made him shudder. Why did it sound like it was mocking him?_

_The lure dangled above the pond. The beast growled. “Ungrateful fish,” it mumbled, reaching and grabbing the lure. It’s hands were enormous, coated in crimson scales and fingers tipped with sharp claws. “I’m flattered that they know my bait is delicious, but I’d prefer them to pay that back with them being my dish.”_

_This is what the ‘perfect’ being did when it wasn’t dealing with dead people? Fishing?_

_“Fishing is a relaxing hobby,” it snipped lightly to him. Its fingers, massive, were delicately placing more bait on the hook. It looked like a ball of cookie dough. “Practicing spells only gives me so much to do here, I have to find something to do between work.”_

_So, it’s a wizard? A crocodile creature that casted spells and fished? How many people on Earth would be disappointed by that?_

_“If you’re going to think degrading thoughts about me, at least acknowledge my beauty!” it growled at him. “I’m a supreme being in all ways, including my appearance!”_

_What did appearances do when you lived alone by a pond and annoyed dead people?_

_A snarl rumbled in its chest. “I’d throw you right back into the pond, but then you wouldn’t take anything from this and come right back.” It took in a breath, saying quietly to itself, “Just do your job, calm down.”_

_Frazier didn’t like the implications of what it was saying. What did it mean by that?_

_It cleared its throat. “Look into the pond,” it told him. It dipped its clawed toe into the water, the ripples ringing from the gentle touch. “I want you to look into the pond and listen to me.”_

_What did he have to lose at this point? He focused on the water. There were no more waves, it was still. Frazier could see his face perfectly. He wasn’t sure what to feel or do at the sight of his dead, empty eyes. He was still blue, but his glow was dimmed to a sad slate grey._

_“Why are you here, Frazier?” it asked. Its voice was softer now, a deep roll that washed over Frazier. He shuddered. He saw his jaw shift in his reflection. “Why did you do it?”_

For them, _came to his mind without hesitation. His eyes started to water, stinging with tears. His lip quivered just so. It was for them, to get out of their lives for good so they could live without his horrible, mooching soul dragging them down. It was for the pain he never stopped suffering, the memories of bruises on his skin and burning in his throat, the knuckled-grip he had held on everybody because of his inability to let go._

_“It’s never for yourself, is it? The good you do?” Its fingers pulled from the hook. It pulled back its arm and casted the line out again. It gleamed above the shining glow of the water, looking like a star streaking through the black sky. “The things you do for others are meant to help them, but the things you do for yourself are meant to hurt you.”_

_What good, Frazier wanted to shout. It was building in his chest, the emotions under the thick blanket of his death._

_“You don’t consider the happiness you’ve brought to a certain someone good?” it asked, its voice still gently. Frazier froze. “Or the games you played with the little girl? Or your old friends who worried about your frail body or how you slept despite your banter? Did they not show happiness in your presence?”_

_His reflection wavered. It wasn’t just him anymore, he could see them. Wade, Katie, Jamie, Chloe, Max… He recognized where their expressions came from, he could feel the memories knocking at his numb mind. He could hear the faint laughter, feel emotions coiling in his chest. It began to grapple at the edges of the numbness to pull it apart, to open him up to what he didn’t want to face._

Stop.

_“But for yourself?” Its massive hand gingerly turned the reel. “You don’t feel as though you deserve that treatment, the treatment you give to others you love. You feel as though all you do is hurt others, despite them showing you that what you think you do is far different from what you do.”_

_His hands were shaking in his lap. He didn’t want to hear this. He didn’t want to see them, not like this._

_“There’s no denying you’ve done things to hurt people,” it told him. “You’re no saint, Frazier, and you know that.”_

_His face was gone. Everybody was gone. Wade was there instead, where he was. Even in his drunkenness, he could still remember that face. The face of heartbreak._

_“You’ve hurt people, him especially,” it said. Its eyes were on him, he didn’t need to look into the pond to see that. “You’ve hurt people because of the hurt you do to yourself. Your pain isn’t just your own, it seeps into those around you. Those you’ve opened up to feel the leaks, and in your haste to hurt yourself, they’re flooded with the repercussions of your reaction to protect yourself from what you fear they’ll do.”_

_Wade was still staring at him, still staring with that face._ Make it go away, please.

_“It’s not selfish to hurt, that’s not that I’m saying,” it said as if it were correcting itself. “It’s alright to hurt, but there comes the point when you have to realize what you do to yourself is also going to hurt those who love and care about you.”_

_He wanted it to stop talking. He didn’t care where he was thrown at this point, he just wanted to pass on and stop hearing the thing talk._

_“Your choice to take your life is your choice. I’m not judging you for that, despite that essentially being my job. What you did was simply your choice, whatever words I have on what that is are ones that don’t need to be said aloud whether they’re hurtful or helpful.” It wobbled its poll just so, baiting a fish. “But have you considered how that’s touched others?”_

_Wade was still there. He always was, whether he wanted to be or not. It was something Frazier took great comfort and fear in, that somebody was at his side no matter what it was for. Forced or not, someone was still there._

_"You showed him how much you love him. You tried so hard to right your wrongs, to move past what you did to him and let him heal. Love bloomed again between you two when it could have remained withered by his choice. He had every right to not even look at you, yet he gave you more than a simple second chance. Why waste that effort now?"_

_The sobs were trapped in his chest._

_“You believe what you did was a favor to them, but it’s quite the opposite.” The scrape of its tail against wood was grating against his ears. “Right now, people are mourning you. They’re crying for you, they want you back. They want to hear and see you again. You’ve been gone for…” It paused like it was checking a clock. “Ten minutes or so? Sorry to tell you that time doesn’t run any different here, so the longer it takes for you to get off my dock and back where you belong is the longer they have to wait for you.”_

_It’s only been ten minutes?_

_“But you get my point, don’t you? I know you’re listening, even if you’re not taking this all in at the moment. I know it’s more out of denial than not wanting to listen to my wonderful voice.”_

_He wished he had the courage to speak._

_It began to reel the line back in. “Nothing again for my time spent on my gourmet bait,” it muttered. “You’ve made a choice on your own accord, whether it was for yourself or them, but are you wanting to reconsider the one you’ve made?”_

_Frazier swallowed. It was just his face in the water again. His cheeks were wet and his jaw was clenched, his eyes were shiny and watery._

_“Well, I’m sorry to say, but this is the moment where I make that choice for you, and that choice is to send you back to the land of the living.” A chuckle. The hook dangled above the water, free of its bait once again. “Or semi-living, in your case. I hope you’ve noticed my wonderful humor along with my sage wisdom.”_

_He stared at his reflection in disbelief._

_It put aside its rod. “To put it simply, it’s not your time yet.” It turned its head towards him, looking no more enthusiastic than its tone implied. “I understand how you feel considering the effort you put into your attempt, but hopefully this will be a lesson to remember the next time you consider these types of choices.”_

_He saw the hand behind his head. It grabbed the collar of his shirt and lifted him. Frazier gasped, sparks of panic beginning to hit at his chest._

_“Oh,_ now _you begin to struggle.” The rubies in its sockets rolled. “I couldn’t get you to even squeak out a peep before, and now you actually try moving. You’re not a very courteous visitor, are you?”_

_It moved him over the water. It felt like he was tossed out like the line, he was so far out and so high up with just a stretch of the beast’s arm. The mirror had disappeared, swallowed up by the returning waves. They lapped and swayed like fish waiting for a crumb. The water wanted to consume him and drag him down to the depths. His hands started to move, shaking and struggling to reach up to grab the giant hand that held him above the waves._

_“Take into account how hard you struggle. To struggle means you have a will, and you’ll have to decide what you want to do with that.”_

_Frazier looked at the creature. It was staring at him, a small, amused smile curling its lips. It wasn’t even standing. It was acting like it was tossing bread to the fish for a speck of entertainment._

_“May I not see you again until your time, Frazier.”_

_He was falling. It had dropped him like a stone. It felt like forever until his feet hit the water, and then he was yanked beneath the waves. The surface was above him, the glowing red growing darker and darker the farther he was pulled down. Bubbles floated above him; his screams that only the fish could hear. It felt like his soul was being ripped apart and put back together at the same time, the black swallowing the glow until there was nothing left._

The burning of his chest hit him first. Then he was bombarded with everything; the sounds of crying and screaming, the smells of thick water and wet dog, weight of the chain, the fear-

_“Cole!”_

He was back. He was staring at the bathroom ceiling, the light blinding him, and then he was looking at Wade. Wade was sobbing so hard that he was quaking. His face was twisted in grief and fear, lips curled into a stricken open frown. The tearful eyes were wide and staring at him. The purple glow bathed him in warmth so quickly it had Frazier gasping.

“O-oh my g-go-ho-hod!” Wade wailed, chest heaving. His face fell in relief. His arms were wrapped so tightly around Frazier’s body. He shoved his face into Frazier’s hair, curling over the smaller as if he could prevent him from disappearing with his own body. “Co-o-ole!”

He was gasping for air even though he didn’t truly need it. “W-what-?”

“Ye jackass!” Foxy screeched. Frazier whipped his head over. Freddy, shivering and teary-eyed, had Foxy gathered in his arms. The ragged fox was soaking wet. He looked so furious that he could explode and so scared that he could start whimpering like a puppy, eyes wild and face teary. “Ye fuckin’ jackass!”

He looked over as Freddy held tight to Foxy to calm him down. Bonnie and Barkley were in the doorway, the masked rabbit holding onto the sobbing child that clung to his rumpled clothes. Frazier could hear Chica outside with an audibly panicking Gordon along with Corina’s hysterical crying.

“I-I-!”

“Ye died!” Foxy screamed again, hunching over Freddy’s arm. He was crying again, tears running down his sleek fur. The towering bear pulled him back, holding him tightly and shoving his wet face into the sopping hair. Foxy clung to Freddy’s jacket, sobbing. “Y-ye fuckin’ jerk!”

Barkley turned his head away from Bonnie’s fur, tearful eyes wide with hope and disbelief. “Cole?” he squealed, choking back more tears. His red glow grew brighter. He started crying again, face twisting with grief. “Cole!”

Bonnie caught the movement, hooking the boy back against him. “Give him space,” he murmured softly. His face was damp, too.

Frazier found the energy to move. He managed to grab at Wade’s shirt and back, fingers digging into the transparent fabric. “Hey,” he wheezed. It was more of the internal pressure inside of his chest that was crushing him more than Wade.

Wade just clutched him tighter. “Please! F-for the love of god, ple-he-hease!” he cried into Fraizer’s hair. “Never again, please! Please, I l-l-ove ya so mu-hu-uch!”

Frazier managed to shakily nod his head, leaning heavily into Wade’s grip. He wasn’t sure what he was feeling all together. He was shaking, his cheeks felt sticky and wet, but he wasn’t having a breakdown. Everything was hitting him, but it wasn’t hitting him. He felt numb, but the emptiness was swallowed by whatever was muted on the inside. Even surrounded by everybody, hearing them sob and feeling Wade clinging to him, he couldn’t feel it all.

Was there something wrong with him? There were too many answers to that.

_“Think about what I said, Frazier.”_

As Wade sobbed and clung to his shivering body, all he could do was quietly nod. At trying again or thinking about what the beast said, he wasn’t sure. All he could was nod.


End file.
